Cruise Planner Gifts

Snooze Cruise

Tourists

Santa Claus's Mail

Packed boats of families on a seaside holidays

Man packing suitcase with French vocabulary

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"Tell them we only have romaine!"

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

'Are we broke yet?'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

An alleyway leads to a scenic area.

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

"Actually, I hear my boss. I'm on a working vacation."

"Don't blame me, you're the one who suggested an island-hopping holiday!"

'You're going on a long journey. Have you got an OAP's bus pass?'

"I think I found a location for our vacation."

Vacation Time: Hither, Thither, Yon.

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"It looks brighter over there!"

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

'Caution Speed Bump Ahead.'

'Our trip to Florida was great until Rob took us driving with the dolphins.'

"If we'd gone South for the winter, we'd be back by now."

Tolls: Must have exact change and tails up.

'Now that hunting season is over, I'd suggest separate vacations.'

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

You have a major fiasco at 10:30, followed by a shocking scandal at 2:15.

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"