Cruise Comic Gifts

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

'That's our mission statement.'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

"Enjoy your stay at the Bat Hotel. Breakfast is at 7 a.m. The guano bucket is down the hall and to the left."

Tom Cruise

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

'Are we replacing you with a computer? Ha! That's a good one. If we replaced you with a chimpanzee it would be over qualified.'

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

Casual skydiving.

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

Lei-ing Hens

"Is everything O.K., sir? We noticed that you aren't constantly eating."

'Hello, Noah...the good news is, you're going on a cruise...the bad news is, you're going to need this!'

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

Grooming for beginners.

'Felworth, until you've completed your management training program, I'll have to ask you not to fool around with your desk.'

"I'm sure that It's Sicily, Capri, Rome, Genoa and then Barcelona."

'It doesn't work...'

'Seasick already? Why, we haven't untied from the dock yet.'

River Styx Cruises

"...We've clubbed together to get you something as a token of our appreciation. I think the staples are included."

Noah's Ark on a cruise ship.

"How'd you manage to get so many tickets."

'We need to get out in front of our problems with a scapegoat.'

'I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation.'

"Staff shortages and increased workloads means all leave has been cancelled...but as compensation we are being offered enhanced toilet breaks!"