Cruise Comic Pillows

"Oh No!!!...Cap'n...Iceberg...Dead ahead!!"

'That's our mission statement.'

An old-time engineer enters the cockpit on a flight.

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

Astronaut: Pay and Display Only

Tom Cruise

"To be honest the culture sucks, but the pay is amazing."

'Are we replacing you with a computer? Ha! That's a good one. If we replaced you with a chimpanzee it would be over qualified.'

After years of working in an office without a door, Doug was moved to a door without an office.

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

Al, The Go-From Guy

'I'm going to have to transfer you to someone I don't like.'

"I sentence you 500 hours of community service - You can start by mopping this floor."

"Don't think of it as getting fired. Think of it as finally being recognized for your incompetence."

The Queen Mary 2: World's largest ocean liner.

"Nice try Kevin, but you've put all your laundry into the dishwasher!"

Casual skydiving.

Not a good day - he's counting paper-clips.

Lei-ing Hens

"Is everything O.K., sir? We noticed that you aren't constantly eating."

'Hello, Noah...the good news is, you're going on a cruise...the bad news is, you're going to need this!'

'I try to get this place smelling of cat and she wants it to pong of lemon.'

'Felworth, until you've completed your management training program, I'll have to ask you not to fool around with your desk.'

Grooming for beginners.

'It doesn't work...'

'Seasick already? Why, we haven't untied from the dock yet.'

"I'm sure that It's Sicily, Capri, Rome, Genoa and then Barcelona."

River Styx Cruises

"Staff shortages and increased workloads means all leave has been cancelled...but as compensation we are being offered enhanced toilet breaks!"

Noah's Ark on a cruise ship.

"...We've clubbed together to get you something as a token of our appreciation. I think the staples are included."

'We need to get out in front of our problems with a scapegoat.'

'I don't think you understand the gravity of this situation.'

"Guys, guys, massive cruise ship! Let's go bow riding!"