Cruelty-free Shopper Gifts

Some of the big stores are going fur free so that I don't have to.

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"They've got me doing cosmetics research."

ONE MORNING WHILE GETTING DRESSED,

'Could you tell me where the organic locally-grown vine-ripened union-picked kiwis are?'

Pets: This animal has not been tested on products.

They don't test products on lab animals at Earthstone Cosmetics.

"Do you carry any shampoos that have been tested on little kittens?"

Investments: Yes, we have organic, local & cruelty-free stocks.

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

Rabbit pulled from top hat carries 'Stop animal cruelty' banner

'Do you sell eggs? . . . I forgot to say that I have middle class guilt. . .'

'It is Hyena. You said you wanted a fun fur.'

"Nothing that's overfished, poached or farmed? How about some seaweed?"

"There are no animal products in our dishes, but since the meals are prepared by animals, you may find some stray hairs."

'Everything here is organic, free range, naturally produced, locally sourced, pesticide free, minimally packaged and fairly traded - and yet, ironically, I am a complete bastard.'

Introducing clean conscience products

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

Our Products Are Not Tested On Real Animals

'Consumer Society'

"Shopping was stress-free this year because I started early and didn't give a s**t what I bought."

"The most moral consumer - Didn't shop at Walmart - Didn't order things on Amazon unless it was, like, an emergency - Tried to be vegan - Always had an extra canvas bag in her car (which was a hybrid, by the way)"

"If you don't give us your email address we show up at your house."

"This company is unethical, exploitative, and ... wait a minute, HOW much?!"

"Do you sell any clothes that aren't made by Third World sweatshop labour?"

'Sorry Fluffy, but it would be unethical for me to guide him towards the more expensive cat food aisle...'

"Which is better: made in USA by illegal immigrants or made overseas by cheap labor?"

'I'll only have one pack of nicotene patches this week. My mate's supposed to be getting me some cheaper ones from abroad.'

Fur Coat and Turtle Neck Protest.

Product Testing: Nicotine and Cosmetics.

"Only twelve more hours to go, what are you hoping to bag?!!"

'I just feel so much better buying the free range Pinatas.'