Crowdfunding Challenger Gifts

R.I.P. J.Q. Public: his crowdfunding skills just didn't measure up

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

"We're all just a number here, Finch, and fortunately my number is one."

'A 10M bonus for your thoughts.'

Cartoon about having many investors for crowd funding.

"See? A huge surge in all the major crowdfunding sites right before the Big Bang!"

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

"I'm worried. We're small enough to fail, but not big enough to be bailed out!"

'Our company has hit an icebery and is sinking fast. Of course, it's all very symbolic.'

Sinking sales

Businessman at the deep end.

"We probably need to rethink our revenue strategy for the practice."

A successful meeting! Only one member left in a rage shouting obcenities.

People hanging on to the horns of the raging bull of 'Business'

"Remember, we're not just making money. We're building prisons."

'We think a lot alike - and that threatens my uniqueness to this company.'

Kick me

"Now I don't want to alarm you, but are you familiar with the term 'On the scrapheap'!"

"Waldo starts a GoFindMe."

"Irma, cancel all my appointments for the next 3 weeks, I need to go home to brood. Tell the board to only contact me on my mobile phone..."

"Now, are you here to see the top dog or the queen bee?"

Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the US budget deficit.

"Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day, give a man a kickstarter campaign and he can write a bad fishing memoir."

Workers' Rights

'I like to end these meetings with a group hug, if you'll step out of the cubicles.'

'Sorry...I don't do hugs!'

'This job is the cutting edge of female multi-tasking. We need you to perform as if headed for the top. We also need you to never actually get there.'

Thinking of throwing the 'Think' sign into the garbage.

"I'm starting a Kickstarter campaign to fund a rival to Kickstarter."

"Sure, revenues are up 25% since we switched from blackmailing the West, to crowdfunding, but where's the pizazz?"

"If money gets too expensive to borrow, our fall-back is this company GoFundMe page."

"Crowd-funding's fantastic but the crowd-thanking is a real drag."

Do not feed the bears. But you can contribute to our Kickstarter fund.

"Until you've replaced, you're irreplaceable in this company."

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"