Crowded Commute Survivor Gifts

"This is my stop. May I be released?"

The Bus Stop.

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Packed like sardines

Lift buttons read: East Side/West Side/All Around the Town.

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

Monday: Next 7 exits.

I hate monday mornings.

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

"Does the No. 1 stop here and does that go to Penn Station and can I get a train there to Philadelphia and then how do I get to Walnut Street?"

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

'I'm going to be a little late.'

Moses comes to Los Angeles.

Bus for Giraffes.

Highway Advisory - Move to Arizona.

Man in traffic jam watches couple row while eating popcorn.

'Nobody?! Well, since we're all stuck in traffic, we may as well do this by conference call.'

Road work next 15 years.

An angry Driver stuck behind the 8 Ball.

Heavy Traffic.

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

Speed Limit 5 MPH. Enforced by Sheep.

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

NEXT EXIT Food & Drink Cafe...Open 24 hours: 'Hey! Here's the place we saw advertised on the freeway!'

'Welcome to HARDNOSE CITY. . . Go directly to jail, next 3 exits.'

'Mom, when will we be mooving?'

'Nope. He doesn't qualify you for the carpool lane.'

Screw Driver.

A horse and cart metamorphosing into a snail.

"Do you want me to empty the ashtray over your head now?"

"Hard day at the train station dear?"

Speed laws occasionally enforced.

'Price at the pumps.' 'Glass of wine then?'

Road Construction Blues.