Commuter Life Survivor Gifts

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

"You've got those Stuck-in-the-Subway-Listening-to-a-Guy-Massacre-Dylan Blues."

"Bad morning. I was running late and skipped my coffee, diet soda, energy drink and Ritalin."

Packed like sardines

I hate sitting in traffic jams. - 'Move it! I need to get work.' - 'I hate sitting at my desk.' -

'It's not easy to get one of these - before that you have to have found a parking space!'

Comparing lottery odds with bus punctuality.

"It was $78 but that was when you started filling, it's $96 Now."

Heavy Traffic.

The Bus Stop.

"Hard day at the train station dear?"

'I'm looking for a romantic tale of wild, unbridled passion I can read while being pushed and groped on the subway.'

I wish I never had to ride on another bus for as long as I live. Is there a Greek God of cabs I can pray to? I think his name is "Hackus." Bus.

The tube's a nightmare today

Daydreaming to other people's music on the train,

As a teleworker Colin loved to be reminded of the horrors of commuting.

The Mystery of Rail Timetables

Jeremy Always Seemed to End Up Sitting Next to the Nutter.

"Do you want me to empty the ashtray over your head now?"

Subway rider holds onto man's tie.

"According to personnel staff are working an average of 10 hours unpaid overtime a week."

"I know we shouldn't expect a seat but this is ridiculous."

Warning: Train travel is a wealth hazard

The Tube.

She's listening, steer the conversation round to how you're gonna be on tv, drop a few names...

Road work ahead

"I'm sure there's something I've forgotten!"

'Gah! I've been stuck in this fluffing traffic jam for an hour!' - 'Maybe I should catch up on my calls while I'm stuck?' - 'You have been placed in a call queue.'

"You can have a first class return £257...A standard return for £120...or you can sit on the floor for a fiver..."

"Oh no, even more misery"

"The 9.23 train is cancelled...new timetables will be arriving at 9.46, 10.15 and 11.07."

Man on mobile on train - 'You'll have to speak up, they've put a really annoying TV in the carriage...'

The Staten Island Ferry and her lawyer, Alan M. Dershowitz

"Eurotunnel apologise for the late departure of this service. A large halibut has strayed onto the track."

Public transport