Crouton Lover T-Shirts

Checking for croutons.

"Actually, make that a double cream."

"As an avid red wine drinker, I can say, with certainty, that the notion that drinking clarity impares claret is false!"

Courtyard of the Hotel de France, Montreuil.

Carrot in front of the donkey workout.

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"I'm not trying to be cool, I'm just making sure the crocodile hunters won't see my eyes reflected in their searchlight..."

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways … Open Mike Night Presents Sadie Cohen. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height my ladle can reach … When feeling hungry for the crunch of crouton and ideal lettuce. I love thee to the level of every day's most quiet need ... by cheesy bread and chicken wing. I love thee freely, as men strive for right. I eat of thee freely, and then, at four, 'tis goodnight. O Sizzler salad bar, how do I love thee? I'm hungry.

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"Things get more interesting at noon."

Knowing that a typical carrot cake is loaded with fat and calories, Doris whipped up her on, much healthier recipe from scratch.

Trustworthy Authority.

'Great! you ate the waiter, now how am I going to order!?'

I love thunderstorms!

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

'My mom said eating carrots would help my eyesight, but she never mentioned other side effects.'

"No, it's a single ingredient - baby carrots."

'Okay, then I get the Corvette ... '

Young man, I think you are wearing my hat!

'How come you get candy corn and I get real carrots?'

'I'm sorry,we're out of carrots. They went fast.'

"I'd like to sing some songs from the great American songbook, I'll start with the Dead Kennedys. . ."

Melania Trump

Does this skirt make it look like sexy fat?

'Yes, normally, carrots are good for you eyes, but in your case they only increase your sense of smell.'

"Bring me a bottle of chardonnay and one long straw."

"Hi honey, how was work?"

'That's enough cream. Please stop.'

Ben Hur Gets A Tow

If Jesus had been a rabbit...

Maraschino, Inc.

Revised tales of the old west. They used some sneaky tactics -- Really ambushed their opponents! It's been a fierce fight but seems to be turning into a massacre! He better shoot straight or it might be curtains for him! Aim carefully! Don't pull the trigger too quickly! What an epic battle! This day will become legendary! "The shootout at the croquet corral"!

'Are these carrots organically grown?'

'There is a fine line between chic and outrageous.'

Anna Wintour