Crop Connoisseurs Gifts

"The predictions of the Loam farm model do make depressing reading...overheads and rents are skyrocketing, prices are down...but the government has suggested a strategy for solving the problem!"

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

'Burl says it only works with corn though if you want to try it.'

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Browned off cows. They can't pull a cracker.

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

'I believe the murderer is in this very room.'

"Can you keep a secret?"

'VEGETARIAN ZOMBIES' BW

Cow Pollen

'Now forget that I'm your boss and the CEO. How does my new product idea, Just the Lees, taste?'

"Summer's here. Do you want to start talking incessantly about tomatoes or corn?"

'...Contains Phixe-knide, TBHQ, hydro-cla, Cyklid, Yetfopnmide - and other unpronounceable stuff.' (grocery store)

"We're doing our best to meet the demand for ethanol."

'Mr McGregor's growing genetically modified carrots!'

"Looks like someone forget her lunch today."

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

That night, Neil Thomas declared himself the poet laureate of 1973 Sheffield Lane.

sports bar buffet : Hotdogs/pizza/Corn-on-the-Ty Cobb

'For heaven's sake Armitage - can't you just accept 2nd place in the best leek category?'

"Would you look at the carrot on that guy!"

Baker

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

A Protractor.

Annuals, Perennials, Centennials, Millennials

'I don't know what it is. It showed up right after I invented agriculture.'

'These were developed in the 1980s - they're a heritage genetically modified variety.'

We've been working on them in the wind tunnel...

"Leftover seeds."

"Eventually I'd like to settle down and start a few dozen families."

Corn Aliens

Man of refinement trying to teach a street salesman to say 'asparagus' rather than 'sparrow-grass'