Critter Detective T-Shirts

'Check you house for termites, Lady?'

'Look at this! The little critters are not asexual after all!'

Barks in code.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Murder in Apartment 6-K

'So who needs sonar?!'

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Hello? Is that the canine help line?...."

Sergeant Jones gave the assurance that they had an 'assortment' of leads back at the station. . .

'The word bath is mentioned.'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

Man to pets about upside down house: 'I don't care who started it!'

"Look, I tried to tell everyone Timmy was in the well but no, what do I know, I'm just a dog!"

"What's all this?"

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

'One of the good things about being a dung beetle is that my kids are not fussy eaters...'

"You're not a police dog, and that's not a crime scene."

Clandestine cows.

"Now how did she know?"

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

"If anyone should ask, I was in my doggy bed from 7 p.m. to midnight. Understand?"

'This article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that.'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

'The butler did it.'

"Curiosity."

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"I had no idea. You mean I'm a dog?"

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

"Officer, my cat's stuck up a tree again"

"The guy I bought him from says he's a pure sheepdog."