Wildlife Detective T-Shirts

"And I'll have that lightly sedated, please."

"Wanted"

"That's odd—I could've sworn I heard a woodpecker."

"Keep your eye on him."

You can tell it's an African Elephant by its ears.

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

Wildlife

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"You don't throw them back if they're too small!"

Sign in tree from bird "next appearance 3:00 pm"

Fly Fishing

Bears catching fish

He is familiar with the silent swoop of the evening bat.

"Cross-breeding oops #1." "The Cougadooodle"

'I admire your floatibility.'

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'Oh Darling, you must be so proud: Your first wart!'

Evolution.

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

'Don't worry about getting lost, folks. These trails are all well marked. . . if I do say so myself.'

'I know that our nesting area is somewhere around here?'

'I like scientists: They are genuinely interested in every mundane thing we do and keep detailed records...'

"Nice try, but I know a squirrel in a bird suit when I see one."

"Do you mind? I'm in the middle of recording a podcast."

'Our family has a dry sense of humor, and we don't laugh that much.'

"Toadstool you say? No, this is snailstool now!"

Always an awkward moment when you meet a Dung Beetle...

"You've changed."

Birds sitting on satellite dish.

'Aw,hunting season is a cleansing time. A time to forget about my worries...'

'We started wearing name tags to rell who's who, unfortunately we all like the name 'Kevin,!'

"He's so full of shit."

"Tracks of black bear cub... Tracks of black bear mother... Tracks of Henry David Thoreau."

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.