Critic With A Twist Pillows

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'

A gentleman inspecting a painting.

Sign: 'Welcome to Fernbanks. Beneath our quaint Norman Rockwell-ish exterior beats a big-box chain store heart, ready to sell out at the drop of a hat.'

"Try picking up a girl after you've renounced everything."

'Too pricey? Perhaps you wish to see something in macaroni and spray paint?'

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

"If there is a heaven, why do we end up as fossil fuel?"

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

"I think, therefore I am depressed."

"Waiter, there's a man bun in my soup."

'Exactly what day is this the soup of?'

Mom's Mortuary

Evolution of Man

Plant Closed - Downsized Too Far

Free Speech has heavy price.

A dead Olive found stabbed, in a Cocktail drink

"It's all good – but some of it is better."

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

Plug: ' OHHH, Baby Baby.'

Trump White House Word Search

"If art was meant to be understood by the common man then the common man would have a degree in art appreciation."

'Want a good read Sex, violence, incest, murder Old Testament.'

"Oh, but it's fine for you to hang out where I eat."

'Hey, he's just some guy from the neighborhood -- and you know what Chicago neighborhoods are like!'

"You forgot his tail."

The Internet...

'Stocks dipped on the news that the manufacturing . . .'

The Slips of Capitalism

"These are my 'Nebraska attack poodles'. They don't bark, they don't bite, they just do exactly what they're told. . ."

Mother Theresa (May)

'I don't know. . . Nobody has ever requested a doggy bag before. . .'