Critic In Disguise Pillows

"Loved the movie. Hated the audience."

'Exactly what day is this the soup of?'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

All Harold's aptitude test showed is that he had an aptitude for taking tests.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

Free Speech has heavy price.

"But is it art?"

'Forget the artwork who made the martinis?!'

'Your hair is messy,stand up straight. You look unkempt.'

Trump White House Word Search

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

If you want to get big as a radio host, you've got to differentiate yourself from all the other mean, insulting critics. I have a plan. You need to start being nice. That way, you'll really surprise people when you turn on them. That's the stupidest @#$% Idea I've ever heard, you muscle-bound ape! It needs work. Damn. What if I retract the muscle-bound part?

"Oh, Bruno! Just look at the subtle hues in those tulips!"

"If art was meant to be understood by the common man then the common man would have a degree in art appreciation."

Tony Blair's Apology for the Iraq War

Sucking Up to Gen X

'What's this about the food tasting funny?'

Balance Sheets in Space

Mother Theresa (May)

Mail & Political lies.

"These are my 'Nebraska attack poodles'. They don't bark, they don't bite, they just do exactly what they're told. . ."

How I Learned to Love the Drone Bomb

Government a la Carte

'Stocks dipped on the news that the manufacturing . . .'

'Tell me if this hurts.'

Anti-Vax: Death Cult

The Letters Of Jean-Paul Sartre To His Mother

'Do you offer a degree in punditry?'

"The kids at school were fine - I just keep taunting myself about never producing a great body of work."

Things are looking up!

The muse for letters to the editor.

China 70 Years

"Yes, but what happens if the ‘sniffling, sneezing coughing, aching, stuffy-head, fever, so-you-can-rest medicine’ makes me hallucinate?"