Crisps Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Truth in advertising."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

The Main Types of Cheese

"I come here for the pepper."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Joel! Killer crust!"

Cheese

Full English Breakfast.

'Three weeks of brutal alimony negotiations, Polly, and you settle for a cracker!'

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"My smelly French cheese is much better than your Canadian beef."

'Strong curry for two and a fire-extinguisher.'

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

Rejoice! It's time to celebrate the baby cheeses!

"Just toot my horn and I'll be there."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

The Running of the Brie

'Is this a party, a cheese and wine do, a cocktail party, a soiree or just another of your old cronies get-togethers?'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Of course I love you more than cheese. What a silly question. In fact, cheese and I are just friends. Nothing's going on between cheese and me."

this bordeaux speaks for itself

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

Great moments in 'Haute Cuisine'. . . America gives the world the Donut Sandwich.

Somewhere in France

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'You reek of crackers.'