Crisis Cryptologist Gifts

Inflation wave

'I can't read their smoke signal. It's encrypted.'

"What did you think of the encryption article?"

My First Bitcoin.

"I'd like to get my withdrawal in either cryptocurrency or social-media exposure."

M16 Code-breakers office

"So I misplaced a couple hundred Bitcoin. Maybe the dog ate the wallet. I din't know. S**t happens!"

"I think Baxter needs a break."

"Ed always wears a poker face. His specialty is password encryption at the NSA."

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

More Money for Greece.

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

Cryptologists Anonymous

'Remember that code we couldn't decipher for seven years? We deciphered it - but do we want to know everything there is to know about rainfall in eastern Peru?'

NSA Now Hiring: "Must be a good listener."

Alan Turing

"Hey, guess what we're having for dinner tomorrow."

"Possessing both sexes, the Hypoplectrus gutavarius mates with another Hypoplectrus gutavarius, each switching roles after each encounter."

'The good news, Dave, is that the computer's passed the Turing test. The bad news is that you've failed.'

'I've cracked it! It's all in German!'

Military Intelligence - Cross word puzzle instead of medal ribbons.

"He's the best man in our cipher department, sir. Even we don't understand his stuff. He used to do assembly instructions for Ikea."

Burke and Hare and Hare

'Jerry's a cryptic sort of guy,'

'Well, YOU call it bad penmanship, I call it encryption.'

"No, my memo isn't encrypted...the spell check broke."

'Did you understand ANY of that?'

'Finley's working on the tax code.'

"Are you two trying to play the imitation game?"

"I know your work is highly classified, but couldn't you at least unencrypt yourself before you come home?"

'We're in trouble. I've negotiated with a poker face, but never with an encrypted face!'