Criminal Justice Junkie Pillows

"What do you mean if you testify?!"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Lady Justice and Confidential Files

'Who says justice has to be the only thing on tap?'

"Gimme a 'D'! Gimme an 'N'! Gimme an 'A'!"

"This is my client's videotaped deposition—please be considerate and rewind after viewing."

"I must protest, M'Lud. Prosecurity counsel is blantantly attempting to wheedle the truth from the accused."

"This one's called 'Incarceration.'"

Mou...Man trap!

The Birth of a Lawsuit

Lawyer's secretary has in boxes labeled: Before the Fact and After the Fact.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, despite how bad it's going to screw you?"

Lady Justice wears a blindfold, but listens through headphones to a tape recorder on one of her scales.

"At least he's honest about it..."

Say what? Johnnie Cochran died in 2005?

'... And I appreciate that you've 'saved the world from certain doom on numerous occasions', but you still have to pay your taxes.'

The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

"... and I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for you meddling forensic pathologists."

'At first it was a few dollars here and a few dollars there. Then I realized I'd have to pay my lawyer.'

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'Your honor, my client would like to change his plea to 'not guilty, but not exactly innocent either'!'

Upholding the Law

"Let's take in a trial."

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

"You're lucky you're a U.S. citizen and this is America! The government has generously offered you five free guesses about what you're charged with and where you're going to be secretly detained."

'It doesn't matter if my client is guilty.. the book and movie deals are pouring in!'

'Sorry, but I do not recall that incident either.'

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'I had no idea there was a local ordinance against taking the Fifth Amendment!'

'Speak of the devil, there's my attorney now.'

Law 'N' Order

"Not guilty by virtue of reasonable doubt."

A throng runs out the courthouse to follow a car that is driving away decorated with a sign that reads "Just Acquitted".

'It drives me crazy when people whine about the collapse of the system!'

'Must you be so judgemental?'