Crime Junkie Pillows

"And this is where the murders took pl—... I mean, this is your bedroom."

'He was your height, but thinner and better looking. You haven't caught him yet, so obviously he's smarter.'

"This is you! Is this your way of confessing?"

"If we're caught, I wonder which TV police documentary we'll be on...?"

"Eat me"

"I feel like bad guys aren't as scared of me in the summer."

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

"Don't editorialize."

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'Keep an eye on that one. He looks like a sketchy character to me.'

'You know, this is a pretty dangerous line of work you're in...'

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

"Paper or plastic?"

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

"They've solved the cause of death of Richard III."

'Where did I bury the loot? -- I thought you buried the loot!'

Gangster's To-Do List

Ignorance of the Law

'Make it look like an accident.'

A convict escaping during the press scrum

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

"Make it look like an accident"

Handcuffs.

'Was Monty the culprit? Had he fixed a horse race? He couldn't remember.'

"It's a beautiful day except for the murders."

Bank Robbery Statistics

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

Exposed and imprisoned.