Crime Story Junkie Pillows

"Listen, you little punk—I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a lady whose aunt lives next to a guy who cleans the pool of a guy who could have your legs broken."

Burke and Hare going to watch 'Tomb Raider'.

Newsroom: 'Police are on the lookout for a robber dubbed the 'if you write about me I'll hunt you down like a dog' bandit.'

'You've got to admit, it's an effective witness protection program!'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

hard-boiled egg...

'You know too much,'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

Cat Burglar

"Puss in cement boots"

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

The evidence destroyed

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

"Why not stay with your mother and me? The Feds will never find you here."

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'