Criminal Comedy Fan Pillows

Burger Lure

'Equal protection of the law, my foot! -- That was RANK discrimination against bank robbers!'

'Aye, he'll come up a treat next spring.'

Paper reads 'Prisons Full' - 'More prisoners need to escape.'

"Wait a minute. Which one of us is in jail and which one is visiting?"

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'What worried me most is identity theft.'

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

This is the last time I ask Peterson to dust for prints.

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"OK, we may not have ways of making you talk, but we do have ways of making your leg twitch uncontrollably."

'I don't care how you do it...just make it look like an accident.'

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Just our luck...old school crime translation classes!

Robber on treadmill

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'I mean, what sort of thief only takes a dog bowl?'

'Not much cop are you!'

"Wear a wire? Oh, no, all of our police informants have gone wireless."

Police Lineup Escape

"One crime on this island and everyone's a suspect!"

"Embezzlement is now called virtual bank robbery."

Petty Aero Larceny - I Stealing a Dinner.

'Give Me All The Money In My Account'

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'I won't be able to look up your account right now. Our computers have been impounded by the authorities.'

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

'I'm hoping to get into Crime Sprees.'

"For a masked intruder, you seem to know your way around the house."

'Did he say anything before he died?'

"I'm sorry, sir, but a blade's a blade."

'They profiled me just because I'm a bank robber!'

'OK, give him the money but we'll need to hold onto the gun as collateral.'

'First Lady Lettuce goes missing...'