Crime Thriller Aficionado Gifts

"Do you mind telling me where you're going with this?"

"You got to hand it to Bloody Eddy—it's the last place in the world you'd think of as a hide-out."

Death by Television

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is that a house was left unlocked in New York City for a week, and nothing was stolen.'

"Yes, the doctor who put the cast on your legs used to be a mafia killer and is now in witness protection. . . how do you know that??"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Cat Burglar

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

James Gandolfini in his driveway with a tablet

Mobsters at the Beach

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

The evidence destroyed

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

Block Closed for Gritty, Hard-Edged Tale

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."