Crime Storytellers Gifts

'It wasn't a good idea to wear your work clothes to court...'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"You dropped yer wallet."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"Paper or plastic?"

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Handcuffs.

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"It's a beautiful day except for the murders."

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

"Make it look like an accident"

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

'...Just goes to show you, you can't trust anyone.'

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."

Sketches by Boz - A Pickpocket Being Wheelbarrowed to Police Station

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Why did the chicken cross the mafia