Crime Storytellers Pillows

'It wasn't a good idea to wear your work clothes to court...'

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"You dropped yer wallet."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

Fish mobsters.

"By Ned, you're right, inspector—the body has been moved."

"Paper or plastic?"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"Daddy, can I have a pony killed?"

Cop Shop/Fake evidence/Plant now for spring.

"It's a beautiful day except for the murders."

Al Pacino

'It's Yorick all right - I know his DNA well.'

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

Handcuffs.

"It doesn't look much like a 'witty painting' now, does it sir?"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Make it look like an accident"

"So, while extortion, racketeering, and murder may be bad acts, they don't make you a bad person."

'...Just goes to show you, you can't trust anyone.'

"It's the terrifying story of a publisher brutally murdered by an author who had his book rejected."

'It's had the best reviews I've ever written.'

Sketches by Boz - A Pickpocket Being Wheelbarrowed to Police Station