Criminal Stories Gifts

Automated Laundering Machines.

hard-boiled egg...

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

'You know too much,'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'You know bank pens never work. Why didn't you write the holdup note before we left?!'

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

'So one day I thought, I'll teach you brats to laugh at me!'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

"Don't editorialize."

"My problem is a recessive gene for honesty and a dominant gene for robbery."

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'Do you expect the jury to believe that? And, more importantly, do you expect the viewers of the eventual TV movie of this trial to believe it?'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"I've been dumping bodies here for years, and it seems to me that the sea level is rising."

"I said freeze, punk, I didn't mean literally!"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'I haven't spent a day in jail since I got rid of my lawyer and hired a spinmeister.'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

"White Collar Prison"

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

'Why is it always about me?'

'Come on inspector, you call this fair?'

Oliver Twist - Oliver Introduced to Fagin

'Oh, hello Dave. Would you like that in untraceable, used notes, like last time?'

Undercover Biophysicists