Crime-themed Stories Gifts

'Hey, can I get back to you, I'm with a victim.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

hard-boiled egg...

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'You know too much,'

"Puss in cement boots"

It was my story. A murder mystery. A who-done-it-and-got-away-with-it-until-he-wrote-about-it.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

The Philip Marlow family

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

'The good news is your life sentence is about over.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

"My pawprints? Nah, I wore gloves. They matched my noseprints on the window."

Snow Crime

Man reading 'How not to get caught.'

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"I did, boss, I swear, I buried him myself."

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"Let's just enjoy our holiday. The whole incident with your stalker is over now. We won't see him again."

Mafia Family Life: 'I'm sorry dear - but I had to bring some work home!'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"