Crime Story Devotee Gifts

"I need to borrow enough to cover my legal expenses for bank fraud."

"I'm sick of you reading crime novels!"

The Anti-Agent

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

Cat Burglar

"Puss in cement boots"

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

'Ah Mr Bond, I haven't been expecting you...'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Whodunnit. Whoreallydunnit.

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

I always forget - Are we supposed to tip?

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

The evidence destroyed

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

Mafia Short-Term Memory Clinic. 'Fuhgettaboutit.'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

The Ballad of the Lavender Dot - Part Three

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."