Crime Story Devotee Gifts

"I'm sick of you reading crime novels!"

The Anti-Agent

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

"Puss in cement boots"

Cat Burglar

'You shouldn't knock them back so quickly.'

"'A body at rest'? -- Are you writing murder mysteries now, Isaac?"

Money laundering - shows money flowing out of US vault.

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

"So, just to be clear: the 'voices inside your head' told you to launder the money from forfeited law enforcement seizures in exchange for federal tax breaks for your Uncle Mark in Costa Rica?"

"Don't make me send in the bad cat."

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

'They're very proud of me. I'm the first in my family to be convicted of a white-collar crime.'

The evidence destroyed

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

"You're not grandma at all! In fact, I think this is a case of identity theft!"

'Any ideas on motive?' 'Only one, Chief.'

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

The old good-cop, psycho-cop routine.

"Paper or plastic?"

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."