Crime Scenes Pillows

'If you are going to be a CSI, you can't say yuck at everything you see!'

"Ironically all the guys from the hunting lodge were on the 'Nice' list."

Murdered man spells out his murderer in alphabet soup.

Amateurs Night.

Everybody made fun of Josh for being afraid of his shadow, but later that day, they would all be sorry.

Law and Order: SUV

Joke Shop.

"It appears the water pressue on the bidet misfired and she blew up like a pufferfish..."

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'Come out with your fins up!'

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"We need rain."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Turkey Autopsy

Well, you're busted! Forensics just came back: the bite-marks match your dental records!

Penguin identity parade

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

'So far we don't have any suspects.'

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"Any clues?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

Excessive Paperwork