Crime Scene Artist Pillows

Sinister looking man sits near outline of body, with a sign that reads: 'All my own work'.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"We need rain."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Turkey Autopsy

'Yeah, forensics tested the carpet sample and found something alright - but it wasn't blood,,, Any guess what it might have been, Mr McGruff'

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

Penguin identity parade

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

"Any clues?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

Excessive Paperwork

'Take your time sir.'

Police Fair.

"As a matter of fact, yes, it was an amicable divorce."

''Willie the Wizard' gets out next week -- get ready to change all the locks.'

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"