Crime Scene Artist T-Shirts

Sinister looking man sits near outline of body, with a sign that reads: 'All my own work'.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

'I'm sure that the autopsy will confirm it was a suicide.'

"We need rain."

Next camera crew 5 mins

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

Robber on treadmill

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

Turkey Autopsy

'Yeah, forensics tested the carpet sample and found something alright - but it wasn't blood,,, Any guess what it might have been, Mr McGruff'

"Check this wall for fingerprints."

Hanging Mime - Such a waste of talent.

Party balloons. Looks like an inside job. Helium.

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

Penguin identity parade

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"Any clues?"

"I found a partial thumbprint. Let's get the heck out of here"

Melted Snow Man behind police cordon

'Jimmy. Stick to the outline.'

"Looks like a tragic accident Chief. Although how he could trip and fall under a road roller beats me."

Excessive Paperwork

"As a matter of fact, yes, it was an amicable divorce."

A number of runners run through police tape.

" . . . the victim was slowly roasted until golden brown and then. . . Oh my gawd! Stuffed with bread and savory herbs and spices!"

"Cut. Cut. You call this a crime scene?"

'You hate to see this kind of thing.'

'Take your time sir.'