Crime Scene Jester T-Shirts

You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"We need rain."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

A baby in court

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

Turkey Autopsy

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"I'm home, with all my DNA."

"...And now show us what you said."

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Disorder in the Court!

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"