Crime Scene Jester T-Shirts

You mean to say, Mr. 'Smiles,' that someone else left the scene wearing size 22 shoes?

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

"Talk, Wallace - where'd you hide the loot?"

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Hire a cost cutting, bad-guy consultant to turn me into a good guy during the layoffs."

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

"Unless one is a humorist, Haskins. One should avoid attempts at humor."

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'WELL, that certainly was a frank discussion! Shall we proceed to the inevitable apologies, retractions and clarifications?'

Next camera crew 5 mins

"We need rain."

'It was part way through the initial investigation that detective Walters felt as if he was being watched, but there was no one in the room. No one that is except the cat, who sat contently on the chair and watched him with an almost human repose.'

A baby in court

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

"According to stomach content analysis he'll be dead in half an hour."

Cop Shop: Bulk, dried blood, shaved hair, ground teeth, assorted body parts and bone fragments.

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."

"Humiliation is a very important part of the the process, Mr. Keifer."

"Honestly, I have no idea what a 'habeas corpus' is."

'No, no. I told you to look for a precedent.'

Turkey Autopsy

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

"Let me through... I’m an armchair detective!"

"Your honor, we were having so much fun being sequestered, we forgot what the defendant is charged with."

Penguin identity parade

"Ignore him - he hates everyone I haul in for questioning."

'I'm going to ask you one more time; who left a hot mug on this table?'

Disorder in the Court!

'You're not supposed to block off an area to look for your contact lens.'

Party balloons. Looks like an inside job. Helium.