Crime Jesters T-Shirts

Chalee Mao steals from a sleeping mugger.

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

COWS: Cow Pong

Medieval headlines.

'Everybody from Liverpool's a comedian.'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"...and we hope that, for a cyber-crime, you will consider a cyber-penalty."

"Oh well, what does a jester know?"

Cave lady about cave boy with big rolling stone: 'Here comes Junior with his report card.'

'Yes, it's a foul. But is it a flagrant foul?'

The afternoons are okay, it's at night that I can't sleep.

'We, the jury, find the defendant guilty... and his attorney obnoxious.'

'Your Honor, permission to abandon the strict, upstanding, fiduciary responsibilities of my profession for a chance at fleeting personal, carnal gratification?'

"Unfortunately your Twitter has been hacked. Fortunately it has been hacked by someone much cooler and funnier than you."

'Why can't I park it here? I'm just getting my moneys worth.'

'When did YOU switch to a talk format?'

"Perhaps this will refresh your memory."

Steinbeck - stuck on the title page (Grapes of Wrath).

"Got outta jury duty!"

'He's training for a career in law.'

'The prisons are overcrowded, so why don't you just drop and give me fifty push-ups?'

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

'The prisons are full, so I'm sentencing you to marry Rosie O'Donnell.'

Tercentary of Shakespeare's Birth

'It certainly is a big one!'

'Granted, Your Honor, he may look like a criminal.'

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

'It's exciting and you make a lot of money, but if you don't win, they flush you down the toilet. Welcome to the pros, kid.'