Crime Lore Lovers T-Shirts

"You have been found guilty of rope theft". They survive, as the rope has been stolen.

"Puss in cement boots"

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Then leave the horses head in the Futon." Middle-class mafia

'I don't know officer: They all look alike to me...'

'All right pal, just hand over the nose and nobody gets hurt.'

"I'll never understand it. I followed the generally accepted principles of embezzling."

"This, Yorik... Do you know him well?"

"Now don't do anything flashy with the money, like pay off all your student loans at once."

"Paper or plastic?"

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

"I couldn't finish that book either."

"Let's try it again. Hand over your wallet, and this time, don't try anything funny."

'Newgate - Exercise Yard'

"The robber was about 5' 11"...."

Burglar escapes from tower using Rapunzel's hair.

"It's a beautiful day except for the murders."

''Rumplestiltskin' sounds like an ALIAS to me!'

"Gee, Marshal, he must have been one of the good guys"

"Make it look like an accident"

Handcuffs.

'Emotional blackmail.'

Fingerprint Show

'Where was I on the night of the 7th of August? I was home washing my hair.'

Sketches by Boz - A Pickpocket Being Wheelbarrowed to Police Station

'Before you buy the gun can I ask if you thought about taking your cat to the vets first?'

Witless protection prgram

"No, wait. What if the cop character is the murderer, and the mobster guy is completely innocent?"

Nice tie, Al - hand it over."

'Sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs record anything incriminating.'

"And what do you see in this inkblot?"

"It's a wonderful story - starts with the murder of a butcher."

The Continuing Adventures of Mel Hufnagel, Corporate Head-Hunter...

"Stop pretending you have Mob connections."