Crime Fiction Gifts

I am an insane eye doctor and I am going to kill you now...

"I'd say old school crime. None of your high tech methods here."

'And finally, there's option three, a classic business model that would reduce our marketing, supply-chain and production expenses by 85 percent!' '

'It's a pretty nice warrant, all right, but I wouldn't call it 'outstanding'.'

"Big Tony's Web site—get rid of it."

'Jury of my peers? That's a laugh. How many of you ever kill a guy?'

"Oh, I do love a mystery."

Canine Police Line Up.

'It's titled 'Art Thief'.'

"Oh, that three billion dollars."

"The DNA does not lie Mrs Miggins...or should I call you Don Escobar Bolivian drugs czar?"

"I always thought of myself as a romantic, dashing-outlaw sort of person. But, alas, the law makes no distinction between that and a common criminal."

'We like to play it safe.'

'They found your gene for anti-social behavior, but they're still looking for he one for robbing liquor stores.'

"But Holmes how did you know what the victim had for his last meal?" "Alimentary my dear Watson."

"Either he really likes you, or you're under arrest."

Criminal Profiling ID Parade

'Wait a minute! Our balance sheet is completely fictious, our profit is based on faked numbers and our register of companies entry is pure nonsense? In that case, they can't sue us for tax evasion because we don't exist!'

"I don't need to write it down, boss, I'm wearing a wire."

"Got him bang to rights. Trying to sell cocaine in pounds and ounces."

"I'm rather enjoying this." - Moth interrogation under spot light

"Talk Jobson, or I put the new Celine Dion CD on."

Legal Aid Mugger.

'I must say it's a lot less stressful in here. A year ago I was running a Ponzi scheme. I couldn't sleep...'

"Stan, are you sure this is going to work?"

'After we showed him the partial print we got at the crime scene he decided to lawyer up.'

"Sorry I left the keys in the car, now it's gone!"

"How many times I gotta tell ya, Louie...we;re into cyber crime these days...No one dresses like dat for cyber crime."

'So, uh, how much is it to store a self?'

'I just invented walking upright -- this way, I don't leave fingerprints!'

Is your money safe?

'Dis new software makes our jobs simple! Right here is who ya gotta whack. Here is where ya gotta whack 'em. DIS is WHEN you gotta whack 'em...'

'You do a good job here and maybe the Don will promote you.'

Gangster at Confessional

CSI: Alaska. "What have we got, Ted?" "Looks like a snowball with a rock in it...I'll know more when I get it back to the lab."