Crime Comic Appreciator Gifts

Mou...Man trap!

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

'Sorry'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

New, Improved Cat

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

Self-Esteem Clinic.

'Looks like we've got ourselves another cow jacking.'

"Hmm. . . it looks like he was struck on the head with a blunt object. . . If only I could find out what the murder weapon could be. . ."

"Do you want to order a contract killing, Don Carlos, or a pay-as-you-go killing?"

"I've got pride but no shame."

"...and how long have you been a smoked Kipper Grader?"

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

'S**t!'

'It wasn't so much armed robbery as my client converting the owner's assets from sole proprietorship to a mutual fund.'

Well there's something you don't see every day...

Shoplifter behind a barcode.

"Forensics put time of death about 3 hours ago chief. . .they're certain it was a potato gun."

Santa, Alien, Easter Bunny and Sasquatch plan the perfect caper.

Must you people always call during dinner? - Grim Reaper on the phone.

'I told you a blowgun was a bad idea!'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

'I told you to be careful near my piercings, Gavin - they're not beer can ring pulls, you know!'

"Are you nuts? This is what I do."

"Do we have any candy?"

'Hmmm...I think I know what he's saying here. Sometimes we manage to break through the walls that hold us back, only to find...another wall! Yes! I get it!'

Cartoon Gangsters - I'm gonna have to get Lumpy to rub you out!

'This is him, on the hands free.'

"It's the mark of Cain, but it's benign."

Bank robber to teller after robbery: 'Now, I'd like to talk to you about opening a savings account.'

Murder mystery bookshelf falls on passerby.

"May I focus my customer frustration on you with the understanding you're powerless and it's nothing personal?"

'I am on a holiday from hell.'

...To tell the truth, I find them quite becoming.

'I am here, because I killed two people while I was sleepwalking!'