Crime Analysis T-Shirts

New research on streetcrime

'See, Jimmy, as the population grows too dense, the rats begin to brutalize each other...'

Crime Prevention Seminar

Nelson Mandela in despair over the crime rates in SA.

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"It's not the first time he'd been warned about wearing a long tie when leaning over the shredder."

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

'You don't have a license and registration, do you?'

"I don't have my law degree yet but I've got an internship down in cell block 'D'."

MEGASTUDIOS, INC., 'Just think of it -- 'CSI Mayberry,' with Robert DeNiro as Andy and Wesley Snipes as Barney!'

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

He's making a list --- Holmes solves cases quicker when he itemizes deductions.

"I felt I could make more of a difference within the system."

"Never mind what I did, Your Honor. I want to be judged for who I am, as an individual."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Then my brother said he'd like to bury the hatchet...'

The evidence destroyed

'During the break, my client stole my wallet.'

Mobsters at the Beach

"Thrilling news, sweetie! The National Gallery's entire collection of Velázquez is now attributed to you."

'Sure, we pay them for protection but there are unexpected bonuses: nobody can tenderise veel like Luigi or slice beef as fine as Vinny.'

'If anybody here knows why these two should not be wed...'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"The DNA sample from the mink fibres found in the suspect's car matched the DNA sample from the mink coat found at the scene of the crime, so I'm thinking, maybe these minks were twins?"

"All I can figure is that he must have been inspecting the water quality of our lakes and rivers when he became entangled in cement."

'Mark Antony addreses the mob'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

"My client was across town at the time of the murder, as a quick sniff of Exhibit A will demonstrate."

'Apparently my DNA had guilt written all over it.'

"Take your time, sir. Tell me if you can see the thief."

'With the kind cooperation of the underworld, we present live, for the first time on TV, an actual holdup.'

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Phone Hacking Explained - 50 p.