Financial Crime Analyst T-Shirts

"I found out the hard way what a short hop it is from 'Seize the Day' to 'Seize the Money!'"

"I’ve combined all your outstanding debt into what we here in the banking business like to call a honkin’ big loan."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

"Worst case of month-end burnout I ever saw."

"DeepSeek" "Stargate"

'We're finding out that those 'wrongs' we made 'right' were actually right after all.'

Cut Price

'He's downgrading the credit agencies.'

"And we will absolutely start lending again as soon as we finish building our debtors' prison."

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

'I think I must be ambidextrous. I can calculate interest with both sides of my brain.'

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

'Mark my word, Walters, this is no ordinary virus.'

Largest passenger aircraft ever built. "Why does it have to be so big?" "We had to make extra room for all the subsidy money."

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'This graph may need some explaining...'

"Sure, money may be imaginary - but at least it's got everybody imagining it."

U.S. Credit Rating

"True crime meets reality TV"

The Corporate Trust: 'Since we have an agreement of transparency with the feds, I don't need to remind all of you that this meeting never happened.'

"We're to stop talking about 'budget cuts'. Apparently it's depressing for staff and clients..."

'The good news is that we're making huge profits - the bad news is that we won't be getting a bailout.'

No Cheap Fuel Ahead: Easy Street Ends.

"This just in... All new Euro notes are to be printed on Greece-proof paper."

'Wait a minute....!

"We've made it more hellish by modeling it after corporate workplaces."

Big finger print trying to forge a cheque but he can't.

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

Recession

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'