Creepypasta Fan Gifts

Free tickles any size

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Been following me around all morning. I think it's the new intern."

Hi, sweetie! How was the talent show? Did they enjoy your Clay Aiken tribute?

"Are you Matthew Jones with a double 'T'?"

'The whole office is slack-jawed and drooling! It's either a zombie invasion or that smooth jazz you play on the intercom.'

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

Dissectum Paniculata

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

'Somebody's got to be kidding,'

Turning 'Raw Hype' Into 'Pure Hype'

A few Halloween costume ideas.

Hospital Deaths - "Congratulations, you're manager of the month again"

Zombie plumber calling out for drains...

'No, there's nothing else: At this time of year, we eat salmon!'

"I'm hooking up with this guy who makes the funniest typos."

"His prose is so muscular."

Hi again

Man is injured transporting cacti.

"You know, he's not nearly as scary close up!"

"I now represent both death and taxes."

"Our French chef just quit, so instead of the crepes you ordered, I made a breakfast burrito."

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

'Of course, we could drop the enquiry and agree to henceforth leave each other alone.'

National Institute for Health and Clinical Excellence.

Man in the cloning department is alarmed by the clones of death.

'Hey Josh! This is the Grim Reaper calling. No really! I'm using all the new technologies now and, so sad, your minutes on earth - well, they're up!'

Operation/Grim Reaper

"Baldo. My name is El Muerto. I have a message for you...from the afterlife."

"Sorry, but your personal life story just isn't very original."

Finding a Zombie House on Halloween.

'Alright, alright. You can take it with you.'

"No, I'm scarier."

"I'll have whatever they're having."

"We're too late - the zombie apocalypse has beaten us to this planet."