Creepy Crawlies Avoider Pillows

'He thinks some bugs are kind of creepy looking.

"When was the last time you exercised something other than a purchase option?"

"You need to lose 20 cable channels."

'The doctor said you need more exercise, so I've hidden the remote control.'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

'I tried running once, but I kept spilling my drink.'

Dissectum Paniculata

'If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them closer to my hands!'

"Will I still be able to not exercise?"

Protestors outside an exterminator shop.

'You need more excercize. But I'm drinking as fast as I can.'

"I considered riding my bike to work until I realized it involved pedaling and sweat."

The Sedentary Dead.

The doctor told my husband to be active, but the only exercise he gets is running around looking for the TV remote.

"It's just happened again! I don't get it! Master is such a nice guy: why would the neighbours always decline his invitations?"

'I follow my doctor's orders religiously. He said for me to spend two hours a day on the tennis court.'

'His electric toothbrush has gone wrong - mind you, he could use the extra exercise.'

"I want you to drink more beer, eat more fatty foods and take less exercise."

"Okay, we've put on our exercise clothes. Now what?"

'My Barry hates horror films.'

Walkies.

The social isolation of the entomologist...

'I don't need to exercise to lose weight. The odor in this locker room suppressed all my appetite.'

"We have to face reality. Unless we invite people over, we will never muster the energy to clean the place."

Ask Sadie. Dear Sadie, My husband hates to exercise since it makes him sweat. How do I tell him to shape up? Thanks, SV. *Actual reader question. Haven't you read the scientific research, lady? Exercise is one of the worst things you can do for you body. It leads to pain, sweating, muscle ache, weight loss. On the other hand, research also shows the great health value of yelling at your husband and telling him he's a lazy wretch! The science is divided on the question. One of the great joys of b

Young Peel worries about visiting Scotland.

'Boy, I feel sorry for those poor chumps who have to run to catch the train every day!'

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

"A parent's note excusing you from gym is sufficient, Billy...you didn't need legal representation!"

"No, Fred didn't run a TV marathon - He watched a marathon on TV."

What would it take to get you to start running? Frankly, doctor, it would take someone chasing me.

"Sure doc, I can eat healthy tasteless food and exercise until my lungs implode. Or, you can just inject some drain cleaner into my eyeball and save us both a lot of time and trouble."

'IN my fantasy league, we're not allowed to pick players from teams named after cats.'

"Four out of five doctors recommend that you get up and get some exercise."

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'