Creepy Crawler Humorist Gifts

"Stop it! That's creepy..."

"Chomp... Chomp... Curry Tree..."

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"Dear, you are Definitely coming back as a centipede."

Did you find our menorah?

Dissectum Paniculata

'That was the best 'Filet Magnon' I've had in a while.'

"I'd skip dessert. You'll be quicker on your feet."

Alligator Bars

'Extreme acupuncture.'

"It's just happened again! I don't get it! Master is such a nice guy: why would the neighbours always decline his invitations?"

'We HAVE to hire a nanny.'

'Well, as a matter of fact, I think you're a pinhead too!'

Sasquatch/Summersquatch

The social isolation of the entomologist...

'And then, in a hideous metallic voice it growled...'

"Hold on. I'll buzz you in."

No, no Henry. I said I bought a fly sweater for you.

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

'It has had phenomenal growth and, for those involved, an atmosphere crawling with excitement. Congratulations, Hawkins, for heading our Bed Bug division.'

An astronaut with a little alien drilling into his helmet.

Centipede Hokey Pokey. 'You put foot number 17 in, you put foot number 17 out...'

Rarely seen spiders!

'I'm Dr. Pooches and I'll be your den...Oh, boy.'

A praying mantis bride throws her husband's head to a crowd of wedding guests.

Bloomin' ants!

"Probably midges"

'I'm sure it would make a very nice home, but it still gives me the creeps.'

"Don't go to the light, Ned!"

'This is the old Peterson place. Rumor has it the Mrs carved her husband up, made a pie from his innards, and then shoved a lit candle in his hollowed out carcass.'

'You ever get that feeling that there's something in your hair?'

Spectabilis Horridus

"I'll probably hate myself in the morning."

'Why do they call us pests?' 'We bite them.' 'We eat their food.' 'We give them the willies, and that's all there is to it.'