Credit Card User Gifts

"Even if it does accept them, how are we supposed to get our credit card back?"

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

'Is this the new input device?'

George doesn't really like me using the credit card.

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'It's a type of credit card that self destructs when it reaches the limit I've set for you.'

'Our tabby was pre-approved for a credit card!'

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

First United Church of Outrageously Overlimited Credit Card Holders

'We'll have Bubba here check to see if we've idiot-proofed your computer.'

Financial landscape.

"Our credit rating has improved. There's a pre-approved credit card in the report."

"Daddy says God created Eve out of Adam´s spare credit card!"

Secret Identity Theft.

"Your Amex rare earth elements card, that will do nicely sir!"

'Denied?...but it's my last one.'

'There's no interest on your purchase for a year. Then we become VERY interested in your balance after that.'

Pilgrim to Indian: 'We'd like to buy your land. Do you take discover card?'

'I know money can't buy happiness. That's why I use credit cards.'

Earl checks his balance at the bank.

'She's just like her mother. Her first word was the name of our credit card.'

'I'm too busy installing updates to figure out any practical application for them.'

Buy now... pay later

'Me too-thought I'd better splash out before my plastic expires tomorrow!'

AL'S GYM, 'We're going to make a new man of you!' 'Will he have new credit cards?'

'You'll need a better credit rating before we can give you a credit card?'

We Honor Major Credit Cards and Most Dietary Restrictions

'Of course I have your loyalty card - Can you tell me which one it is?'

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

Possible explanation for the tangled headphones

'I'm sorry, we no longer accept cash for transactions.'

"Your order is confirmed and your credit card has been charged. You have purchased one small liberal-arts college in New England. Thank you for your order."