Credential Crafter Pillows

School Graduation: Diploma and Resume

We make a Valentine's card out of edible flowers that's been dipped in chocolate. It's got EVERYTHING!

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

'The grammar's awful and the spelling's atrocious - otherwise it's an impressive CV.'

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'The roof needs icing.'

'31 years in graphic design eh, so I shouldn't be surprised you've retouched your photo on your CV.'

'Harvey does all his own 'get well' cards.'

A potter paints a barcode on a pot.

Day 38 of self-isolation and many people are using the time to discover and enjoy new hobbies.

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"Texting hexes is such a time saver!"

Mono-Tasking, Multi-Tasking, No-No Tasking and Nada Tasking.

What happened to "will work for food"? Will write funny gags for food. You Fusco Brothers need funny gags way more than you need your lawn mowed.

Cross-country knitting.

'I've had tight deadlines, if that's what you mean by performing well under pressure.'

What are you going to do with your face masks when we no longer need them?

'Yes, I received your resume that you emailed. I ran a fact check and I was wondering if you know that a half truth is a whole lie.'

"I had to get braces."

School of Baristas

"I'm sorry - Mr Jensen is not in the office at this time."

'Please pardon the inconvenience while this web page is under construction.'

'Yes, Fluffy was a great dog and to honor her memory, we've decided to keep her name as part of our computer password.'

Wooly mammoth

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

'What do you mean you're not hungry?'

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

"All staff are equal...but some are more equal than others!"

"First day of school and you've already got problem students?"

"Tell me about the bar codes and sales prices on the back of your certification diplomas."

Garden Art

"… and this one too, doc — 'university' is definitely spelled wrong."

"It'll be interesting to see what granny ends up with...she ran out of yarn and is using spaghetti!"

WHEW!