Creative Gardener T-Shirts

"One two tree"

"We just wanted to give them a bit more choice."

Ingenuity

'Honey, you're spoiling those birds!'

'Mind if I trim the hedge back? It's over mine a bit!'

Snail trap

"My hair stylist used to be a topiarist."

Gardener clipping topiary stairs

Sale! Weed Whackers

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

Okay, dig that one up!

Beginning Yarder.

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

'Think, son! What was that formula you fed that tree?!'

Goddess of Fertility garden feature

If we build raised beds and a compost bin now

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

'He took a fetching class.'

Jacques Lacan

Man watering with the 'Theory of Natural selection'.

Executive grows martinis in his garden.

Farmer planting the next crop of PC's.

City Zoo: 'Try our exotic composts in your garden.'

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

'Like I'm going to give this up to migrate.'

'Don't wear that shirt in the garden dear. Roses don't fit in with my planting scheme'

"Why don't other people ever do this?"

Sophisticated garden - low maintenance garden

Arctic Hothouse

Gardener of the Year.

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

'Yup, might be time for a new gardener.'

'I'm letting it lie fallow this year.'