Creative Critique Gifts

"It's structured as a set of two parallel stories that no one would ever want to read."

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

Cariactures

Thomas Mann.

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"Well....I could've done this!"

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"Hipsters"

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

'It never fails. I offer a tiny bit of constructive criticism, and everybody accuses me of carping!'

"Hmmm, this might just be not funny enough for The New Yorker."

'Frankly, I prefer the monkey's plans.'

German School

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

Roads with a view.

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

Harris, our Annual Report has been criticised for lack of clarity - well done.

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

"He's left out the staples"

"I could do that."

"These cartoons are insulting! I don't like it at all! I would never watch something that shows Latinos like this!"

Real coffee vs usual vending machine stuff

"He's been studying The Art of Bore."

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

Tilted painting