Art Critique Gifts

Meet Mr. Twitters.

'So what exactly are you trying to say.'

"I particularly like the juxtaposition you have created between the utilitarian form of the house and the nature that surrounds it. You could enhance this through a bolder use of primary colours."

"You've captured his intellectual prowess, overbearing demeanor and aura of invincibility, but unfortunately it looks nothing like him."

"I haven't seen their work before, I like their use of light!"

"It's worth $50 million, you philistine - of course you're not supposed to understand it!!!"

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"He's not an enfant terrible, he's just terrible."

"Nowadays it's hard to find artists who don't turn out to be sex maniacs."

"Apparently Jesus died and turned white for our sins."

One man, one painting show!

Boy spraying a graffiti toilet on a seated statue

'Abstract painting.'

'New Art'

'Well, you're not Michaelangelo!'

Nude Defacing a Staircase.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'Genius?! Pah! A five-year-old could paint this.' 'Perhaps... But a five-year-old couldn't convince anyone it was great art. Therein lies the genius.'

"He's left out the staples"

"Well....I could've done this!"

'The artist did this one during his 'I've got no idea' - period.'

Perfect sincerity; or, tinkings aloud No. II - Artists being critical of each other's work

Jihadi Art Critics Circle

"The subaqueous qualities of the biomorphic forms spacially undermine the larger metaphorical resonance of the mark-making."

"Oh, Bruno! Just look at the subtle hues in those tulips!"

"We were already in this room—I remember that hideous Renoir."

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

"No - you’re right. It’s dumb."

You're my Mona Lisa.

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."