Art Critic Gifts

"Maybe it needs a caption."

'It's either very good or very bad.'

"This explains the p***s we saw downstairs."

"But is it content?"

"This is the show, Madam."

"It's SO last epoch."

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

"Of course it's an egg...but it's a chicken to those of us with vision..."

At the Met

"Now this I get."

'We better first check to see if that is trash or a piece of art.'

'It's called 'The Stock Market'.'

Erractic Review

“I like this painting because it has a bench.”

'There's nothing wrong with you -you're a Picasso.'

"It was a time when men regularly performed great feats of valor but were rarely in touch with their feelings."

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

Question Mark Picture.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

Rodin's 'Thinking man' is off its plinth and looking at it - Thinking outside the square.

'Look Larry, this one has air coming out of it!'

"That's very controversial!"

"I love what you do with low-hanging fruit!"

Young Picasso In Woodshop

'Poser'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

"Primitive? Compared to what?"

Creative accounting.

"Of course, it's a very early Rembrandt."

Picasso Jigsaw: There may be more than one solution.

The Big Picture

'I still don't get it.'

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'