Art Critic Gifts

"Maybe it needs a caption."

'It's either very good or very bad.'

"This explains the p***s we saw downstairs."

"But is it content?"

"It's SO last epoch."

"This is the show, Madam."

"Hello, Braque? Picasso here. Cubism is out."

"Of course it's an egg...but it's a chicken to those of us with vision..."

"Now this I get."

At the Met

'We better first check to see if that is trash or a piece of art.'

'It's called 'The Stock Market'.'

“I like this painting because it has a bench.”

Erractic Review

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"It was a time when men regularly performed great feats of valor but were rarely in touch with their feelings."

'There's nothing wrong with you -you're a Picasso.'

Question Mark Picture.

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

'Look Larry, this one has air coming out of it!'

Rodin's 'Thinking man' is off its plinth and looking at it - Thinking outside the square.

"That's very controversial!"

Young Picasso In Woodshop

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

"I love what you do with low-hanging fruit!"

'Poser'

Creative accounting.

"Of course, it's a very early Rembrandt."

"Primitive? Compared to what?"

Picasso Jigsaw: There may be more than one solution.

The Big Picture

'I still don't get it.'

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'Well, I don't WHAT this x-ray is showing us...but I'm seeing Picasso.'