Creative Cooking Pillows

"Tonight, we'll be eating hot dogs with a mustard-ketchup-and-pickle purée, accompanied by peas lightly sprinkled with ketchup. Then fettuccine al dente with a ketchup sauce, followed by applesauce maison with a dollop of you know what!"

Clandestine Cuisine

Baloneystini

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Cooks

Husband makes breakfast

Spiro & Pusho mincing fish in meat mincer.

'Hoopla!'

Rocket Lettuce.

'I hope you like it. I call it refrigerator cleanout casserole.'

"I call it 'Cellblock Shiraz.' Don't be intimidated by the bouquet."

Quisine: Exciting New Dishes Inspired By Whatever's Left On Your Shelf

Lockdown sandwiches

Blue Blazer Cocktail.

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

We need a new eco project. Ok. Let's get locally grown food into the school cafeteria. What's our strategy? We can start with the potatoes. I'll make the poster. We want home fries.

Children's Feast.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"I call it 'rage loaf'."

Lockdown casserole

"My only love sprung from my only hate!"

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

All-Candy Seder.

Tzatzikicicle

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

Picasso

Writer and his Muse on a cookout.

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

'Creme brulee! You're the best Mum!'

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

Diner. We're out of link sausages. Are patties okay? Any pork in a storm!