Creative Communication Gifts

Advertising and PR Agency: 'I'm able to spin at 60 words per minute, hype at 50 words and distort at 45 words.'

'The FSA is keen on new ways to get it's message across...'

Writer trapped on island makes an SOS sign with a fountain pen.

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"My granddaughter's first words to me were 'OK, Boomer.' I have no idea what that even means."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

Hey, calm down --- Now, what did you say again?

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

Campaign for Plain English

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

21st century water cooler conversations.

"I think she's figured out what W-A-L-K means."

"This report is mumbo jumbo...I asked for gobbledeeegook!"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

'They don't understand goo-goo-gah-gah. Dumb it down to WHAAAAAH!'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

TAP TAP TAP TAP

"Hmmm ... that's interesting. Now, what about ideas that don't suck - do you have any of those?"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"You're such a good listener."

"Mom! Your cell phone’s ringing ... it’s Dad!"

Inclusive speech

"National security adviser"

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

ZOOM 'n' GLOOM.

'Asynchronous, collaborative, interactive - we're obviously on a roll.'