Creative Avoider Pillows

"I'm doing a Kickstopper project!" "What?" "I was going to write a book... but do we really need another book in this world? So... Kickstopper—people donate money to stop me from writing. I won't write it so I'll never ask you to read it. I'd pay money to not read your book. Thanks." "You're welcome." "I'm also starting projects to not start a band, not write poetry and not tell you about my dreams."

Where the Appalachian Trail Crosses the Path of Least Resistance

'I'm tired of roaming the earth. Can we just stay home tonight?'

"Tarzan no want computer."

Sawdust.

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'So glad we ticked the no publicity box.'

'Alice are you dating me only because you don't feel like cooking?'

"I'll go on a cruise, but not if I'm forced to learn things."

'On second thought, dear, could you toss me the car keys?'

Fred gives up his MP3 Player in favor of conch shells.

"I want to vacation where we can look at something scenic from some place climate-controlled."

"Yes Dad! I can see the ground way way down below very clearly! It's not unrelated to my reluctance to try flying!"

"They hired a cat to distract them from thoughts of change."

Man reading magazine: 'International Procrastinator.'

Danger Signs.

'Aunt Val's pretty cool. . . Kind of hot actually. . . for an older lady.'

'You can't avoid death...You can't avoid taxes...and you can't avoid having your name on computerized mailing lists.'

'Look, I just expect more from a muse.'

'Been coming here for years and never bumped into anyone who knows me . . . weird!'

The things some people do to escape from McDonald's advertising.

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

"This is a great investment, as long as you're not in it for the thrills and chills."

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

"But this is the way we've always done it."

'Johnny Wilmot experiences the Grand Canyon'

'I went to the city once, but I couldn't get used to the crowds'.

It's new from British Telecom, a telephone ignoring machine.

'For heaven's sake! We're only going to the caravan for a week!'

"Well, it might interest you to know that 'running naked' means running without a watch or iphone."

"Looks like a case of Death by Missed Adventure."

We'd like a very public table where she won't break up with me because she's afraid I'll make a scene. Menu. ? ?

"I've finally reached the age when the advertising people leave me alone!"

"To hell with the call of the wild, all I want to hear is the call of the can opener."

"I'm not sure I can make it next week."