Creation Myth Debater Gifts

Adam and Eve in tug of war with cavemen.

"I don't care what you thought you saw,l there are no such things as people"

"And maybe throw in a talking snake to make sure they don't take it literally."

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

The Origin of Creationism

"Boss, you can't be serious! This can't be paradise. . . there's no football and no pubs!"

'...and then the bad woman gave the snake the apple, and that's when our problems began.'

'How did he make the world in six days?'

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

"I told you not to include woodpeckers!"

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"For decades we lemmings have been jumping off cliffs. Dude, it's time to evolve!"

Tree of Knowledge/Tree of Evolution

'Palintology'

"Do I still believe in Santa Claus? I don't even believe in Congress."

'Of course I've done something about Lady Godiva -- I had security cameras installed all over town!'

"In the beginning was the word. Bubba bubba bubba, bird bird bird, bird is the word."

The beginning of humans: A new theory.

God working clay on a potters wheel creating a vase with a person's arms and legs sticking out.

'The rot set in when I started doing these things in my own image - my early stuff was better.'

"I'm taking it all with me. I created everything, and it's mine."

"Say, Buddy. . . do you pick-ups as well?"

The Scones-Monkey Trial. Dear god-fearing jurors, I make a simple common-sense point: Of course man and monkey are not physically related. Have a look for yourself. Move to strike the example. Too late! They both stink. Hey!

'We'll soon know whether or not the Easter rabbit is real.'

Tall stories

'Flying fish? - I TOLD you there was too much background radiation down there!'

"'Why am I up here?' you ask! Let me give you a tip, bro; walking on land is the only way to go, if you want to avoid extinction!"

Gorillas in the jungle.

'There are those who say that in America the streets are paved with excrement.'

Bowling ball earth

Grassy Knoll Creationism: 'More potshots at evolution.'

Do you realise the gravity of this situation?

'We'd better hurry up with that Eve project - Adam's getting solipsistic.'

'I did create man in my image, but man evolved.'

"I got the idea from a pair of dice."