Creamery Worker Gifts

"Nothing says butter - like something from the udder."

"Good For You / Bad For You"

But is it organic?

'Wake up, dear...did you order extra milk?!'

Thank you, Essential Workers

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"I want some long, thin square ones - for chips..."

"We're odd looking but just as good."

Another day in the Splenda mines

Cafe Burns.

Ghostbasters 3

Only One Item or Fewer.

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'Any chance of a ploughman's?'

"I didn't realize there was so many different kinds of vegetables!"

'Frank, leak to the tabloids that these slow moving broccoli flakes cure cancer.'

Barnyard humor.

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

Food samples in supermarket - 'There's a stick in mine.'

'I just couldn't think of the word poultry.'

Biker chopper shopper

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

'And since this product consists of 100% artificial ingredients, we can truthfully say it's vegan!'

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

"I tried to hire a hamburger fry cook from a fast food joint for our cafeteria but he wouldn't take the cut in pay."

"Sugar, trans fats, and an adorable dead baby lamb. Cash back?"

'I hate it when they order scrambled eggs.' (chef shaking chicken).

'It's just a casual job for the summer.'

It all began with free-range chicken. Then it was organic vegetables. Next the farmers decided they should all take a year off to go find themselves.

"Arrghh! - I came around the corner and tripped over that sign!"

'Potatoes. How many would I need to make a bottle of vodka?'