Crazy Tale Enthusiast Gifts

'I'm talkin' to Pete, right, 'cept it was like he wasn't listenin'. Then, sudenly, he stands up, circles the campfire a few times and jumps right into the flames. Craziest thing ever, huh, Jessie? Jessie..?'

"Go ahead and eat her, she's a pain in the a**."

'That's not really what I meant by 'let your hair down', Rapunzel.'

Fishing Tales

Thomas Hardy

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Well did he?"

Street signs you don't want to see.

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Didn't I warn you about buying medication from the internet?!"

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

The Quack Quack Diaries: Quack Quack -- King Of The Commune

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

A Salmon Lie

"If the press brings up your past just double down on 'The sky is falling!'."

"Why do you automatically assume that I'll fly too close to the sun?"

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

"Look! The Emperor has no clothes!"

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

We contend that the boy cried wolf too many times, leaving my client no choice but to eat him.

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

A Tale of the Sea

'Women don't simply believe everything we hear, you know.' - 'But that does not stop you repeating it.'

"I must have hit 20 home runs!"

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'